My Facebook identity needs a change. For weeks, my profile photo has been the Trayvon Martin stylized black-and-white hoodie. My cover photo is Evgeny Feldman's Associated Press photo of activists in Moscow holding a rainbow banner that reads "Homophobia Is the Religion of Bullies."
I chose the Martin profile picture because as a high school kid in Florida, driving home from work one night, I was trailed by a police officer. All I knew was headlights were following me, and I tried to evade them. There easily could've been an accident as I careened around corners with what I guessed to be some fag-bashing guys from the football team in hot pursuit. After a mile or so, the officer finally turned on his flashing lights. I immediately pulled over, of course. Lucky for both of us no harm had been done, though I certainly would've gotten the blame had there been. I learned then that if you're going to trail someone, you're surely responsible for whatever happens next.
The Moscow protest photo stands as a reminder that LGBT people in Russia are fighting for not just their basic human rights, but their lives. Russia may not be following the lead of Iran and others in executing gays, but authorities have certainly fostered an environment that's made it open season on us.
And now there are fresh wounds on both fronts. Dr. Shiping Bao, the medical examiner who handled Martin's body, last week claimed -- after being fired -- that prosecutors were biased against Martin. Meanwhile, Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty is reporting that another savage attack on a gay man in Russia may have occurred.
Despite my reluctance to let these images go, I'm moving on in a sense. It's a lesson I learned growing up in the Catholic Church. If I'm faced daily with a disturbing or gruesome image -- in this case, the ever-present death-by-torture Crucifixion -- it becomes impotent. At some point I stopped associating the Crucifixion with a horrific execution, but with weddings, funerals and sleep-inducing sermons.
I certainly don't want to play a part in desensitizing people to the story of Trayvon Martin or to the oppression of the LGBT community in Russia.
Changing out a couple Facebook photos doesn't mean I'm not still thinking about both, of course. Note to Mr. Putin and others: It doesn't mean I'm forgetting. The images, and images like them will come back. I'll always be wearing a hoodie, in a sense, always holding a candle for my peers in Russia – and Saudi Arabia and Uganda and Cleveland – and acting accordingly.
While not forgetting, though, I also have a responsibility to put joy in my life when I can, to not let myself be mired in the masochistic pleasure of never acknowledging the good. The activist who refuses to ever let down her righteousness is little better than the complacent citizen who refuses to ever open his eyes.
The world is full of the horrific. Washington offered plenty of proof of that Monday. Any day of the week, however, we will see homelessness, will hear of another violent attack. There is no shortage of misery and cruelty wherever we look. But there is also no shortage of joy and beauty. For the sake of my own balance, I need to hunt for a bit more of the latter. It's important to me that I declare, however, that I've not forgotten Martin and Russia.
A Gandhi quote comes to mind: "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
And losing one's faith in humanity would be an even greater shame than turning one's back on injustice.
Will O'Bryan is Metro Weekly's managing editor. Email him at wobryan@MetroWeekly.com, or follow him on Twitter @wobryan.
...moreDue in part to the state's historically conservative tilt and anti-gay policies that have been enacted in state law, Virginia is often viewed as having a dearth of resources for LGBT people, particularly gay, bisexual or transgender men.
It's that reputation that James Leslie hopes to counter through his work with the Gay Men's Health Collaborative (GMHC), an initiative intended to provide HIV-prevention services and resources to at-risk LGBT residents of Northern Virginia.
Leslie, an HIV-health educator and gay men's health coordinator at Inova Fairfax Hospital, which houses the offices of GMHC, says he wants GMHC to provide the kinds of services for Northern Virginia's LGBT community that nonprofit community health center Whitman-Walker Health does for residents of the District.
Leslie says the need for intervention and prevention services has become increasingly apparent following the late-June closure of the Northern Virginia AIDS Ministry (NOVAM), an organization that provided HIV/AIDS-related prevention and educational services. NOVAM's closure essentially left Northern Virginia without a primary health resource focused on gay men. Leslie also points out that there are very few social opportunities for LGBT people, particularly GBT men, whose rates of infection are higher, to socialize or find support outside of gay bars, most of which are located in the District.
To address those needs, GMHC has adopted a two-pronged approach, facilitating programs geared not only toward HIV-prevention and overall physical health, but building individuals' self-esteem and bolstering their mental and emotional well-being.
On the testing end, GMHC holds its Rainbow Tuesdays Clinic, which provides free, confidential HIV testing and STI screenings on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month, in conjunction with the Alexandria Health Department. GMHC has also held HIV testing at various locations in Northern Virginia, such as Freddie's Beach Bar in Arlington, and Lotus Blooms, an adult boutique in Old Town Alexandria, which will host a testing session from 6 to 9 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 21. STI screenings may be offered in addition to HIV testing, if space at those alternative locations permits.
On the social side, Leslie has organized several events for Virginia residents to make new acquaintances through activities in alcohol-free environments. Some "GBT Men's Meetups" or other outings planned for the future include bowling, movie nights, game nights, and visiting a waterpark in Manassas, Va. The social events are intended to provide GBT men the chance to make new friends and build their own social networks and support systems.
"We want to have a space for people outside the city that's not a bar," says Leslie.
GMHC's activities are funded by a grant from the Virginia Department of Health and private donations, and Leslie says he is meticulous about providing regular reports and updates about how he is spending the grant money to carry out GMHC's various programs. He says he hopes the Department of Health will renew the grant as long as he can show the need for such prevention and support services.
GMHC is currently putting together a special project called "Chosen Families," a photo exhibit where LGBT people take pictures of themselves, their partners, their adoptive or biological families, and – in some cases – their friends who act as a "substitute" family, as part of an effort to showcase the diversity of loving, supportive relationships within the LGBT community and reduce the social stigma sometimes placed on LGBT individuals, their families and those on whom they rely for emotional support.
The project is going to be displayed at a Sept. 30 reception at Alexandria's Charles E. Beatley Library in Alexandria. Leslie is in discussions with other libraries to see if they would be interested in housing the photo exhibit on a rotating basis.
"The idea is that the family you're born with isn't always the one that supports you, that's there for you when you need them to be," says Leslie.
GMHC's "Chosen Families" project will debut at a reception at the Charles E. Beatley Library, at 5005 Duke St., Alexandria, Monday, Sept. 30. The reception runs from 6 to 8 p.m. Admission is free. For more information, contact James Leslie at 703-321-2511 or James.leslie@inova.org.
...moreNetworking may seem easy, even natural. Especially for seasoned business professionals whose livelihoods rely on cultivating and maintaining vast networks of professional contacts.
But as many of us know all too well, it's just not that easy. Likewise, many of us have probably experienced pre-networking event jitters.
Scott Sullivan
(Photo by Photo by Drongo Photo)
Perhaps you suffer from sweaty palms or spend hours grappling with an elevator pitch that is coherent, professional and warm. Perhaps you're more comfortable sticking with your friends instead of working the room, shaking hands and handing out business cards.
Let's face it: Many of us have good reasons for not networking well.
''Nothing is more stress-inducing for many folks than to ask them to talk about what they do and how someone can help them find clients without sounding either entirely cocky or sadly insecure,'' says Scott Sullivan, facilitator for the Capital Area Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (aka The Chamber) Smart Networking 2.0 series. Sullivan works as a certified professional coach and director of coaching and curriculum at Velocity, a D.C.-based coaching and professional-development firm. Sullivan also serves as the D.C. director of Business Networking International (BNI), one of the largest networking organizations in the world.
So, Sullivan knows a thing or two about how to put yourself out there. He knows we can all overcome our pre-networking jitters to enter the ''success zone'' and reach out to others more effectively.
''Socializing is, to a certain degree, natural, but networking is both art and science. And it's very scary to most people I've worked with,'' Sullivan says. Each of Smart Networking 2.0's sessions (the third is coming up Sept. 24) has been an exploration into the sources of the attitudes we exhibit at work and at home. ''I ask the question, 'What can we do to maintain the ones working for us and change the ones that do not?'''
Smart Networking 2.0's third and final session will explore three scenarios that cause us the most stress in both our personal and professional lives. Sullivan emphasizes that dealing with stress is one of the primary factors leading to successful networking.
''People should think about what is at the root of the stress of relationship-building so they can show up in a way that maximizes their chances for success,'' he advises.
Cris Caruso, a financial adviser and Chamber member, has already attended The Chamber's two previous Smart Networking 2.0 events and looks forward to next week's finale.
''Smart Networking gives you a different way to approach networking at an event,'' Caruso says. ''So often, we go to networking events, and it's sort of a catch-22. People tend to congregate with their friends, but networking shouldn't be a group of people standing around talking with people they already know.''
Smart Networking also helped Caruso – already a seasoned networker – perfect her style.
''Scott helped me set the expectation that you don't have to walk into a networking event ready to conquer the world,'' she says. ''I've really applied that take-home message that it's better to make one or two great, deep connections rather than engage in a networking marathon.''
Caruso encourages anyone interested in honing their professional development skills – or simply those looking for meaningful business connections in the D.C. area – to give The Chamber a call.
''I've made great contacts, both professional and personal,'' says Caruso. ''Plus, their recent educational programs on time management, DOMA and networking have been wonderful.''
The Chamber's third and final Social Networking 2.0 event is Tuesday, Sept. 24, at the Renaissance Washington, DC Dupont Circle Hotel, 1143 New Hampshire Ave. NW, at 6:30 p.m. Registration is free for Chamber members, $25 for non-members. For more information or to register, visit caglcc.org.
Winner of the 2012 NGLCC Chamber of the Year Award, the Chamber means business. For more information, visit caglcc.org.
Brennan Gamwell is a D.C.-based communications and marketing manager, and freelance writer. Learn more about his work at brennangamwell.com.
...moreThe TV, radio, and Web personality opens up about the BET Awards he was pulled from for dressing too femme, and explains how he came to terms with his recently claimed transgender identity.
Dave Vaughn's photo essay shows two different sides of one man's life in the conservative city of Lubbock, Texas.
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